To celebrate Top Gear returning to our screens on Sunday, weve put together our favourite quotes from the controversial presenter. Its probably the best collection of Clarkson quotes... in the world.
On the Renault Clio V6
It couldnt pull a greased stick out of a pigs bottom.
On the Porsche Boxster
Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary thats what gets you.
I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.
You've got to change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror... murder a prostitute. Change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day.
On truck drivers
As something to live with every day, Id rather have bird flu.
On the Corvette Z06
I dont understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.
On the Porsche Cayenne
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
On the Lotus Elise
And as an added bonus, here is a brilliant Jeremy Clarkson mashup: