The Ten Funniest Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

To celebrate Top Gear returning to our screens on Sunday, weve put together our favourite quotes from the controversial presenter. Its probably the best collection of Clarkson quotes... in the world.

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

I think the problem is that its French. Its a surrendermonkey.
On the Renault Clio V6

It couldnt pull a greased stick out of a pigs bottom.
On the Porsche Boxster

Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary thats what gets you.

I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.

You've got to change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror... murder a prostitute. Change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day.
On truck drivers

As something to live with every day, Id rather have bird flu.
On the Corvette Z06

I dont understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.

On the Porsche Cayenne

This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
On the Lotus Elise

And as an added bonus, here is a brilliant Jeremy Clarkson mashup: