Great horror movies are defined by the terrifying monsters they feature. Even the scariest characters still need to get to the shops for a pint of blood or a copy of The Guardian, however. With Halloween upon us, we wondered what cars would the most famous horror movie villains drive? Would they favour practicality over striking fear into the hearts of their prey? Or would they just flat-out prefer flattening their foe?
Leatherface – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dodge RAM 1500
When Leatherface isn’t pursuing teenagers around the Texan wilderness, he needs a practical truck to take his chilli to the market and to carry fresh meat back home. Naturally, the Dodge RAM 1500 is ideally suited to the role. Leatherface’s custom version features a meat hook in the back for carrying his quarry and a unique front covering to mimic the man himself.
Hannibal Lecter – The Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal Lecter is a psychologist by day and a sociopathic cannibal by night. Handily, the Jeep Wrangler’s interior is so rugged it can be hosed down – ideal for any particularly messy dining experiences. Dr Lecter’s version features extra storage for fava beans and a few crates of nice Chianti. The cupholders have also been enlarged to accommodate tubs of skin lotion.
Previous versions of the Mazda MX-5 were anything but aggressive looking but the new model is noticeably meaner and sharper. With its matte black paint, blood red accents and bat-like agility, it makes the MX-5 the perfect car for Count Dracula. The folding fabric roof has even been replaced with a billowing cape – the only way to make an entrance in spooky Transylvanian villages. Dare you to call it a hairdresser’s car.
Much like Frankenstein’s monster, the Mercedes-AMG G63 is built from very old parts, stitched together and reanimated by a multitude of life-support systems. Thanks to its rugged off-road chassis, the G63 would be ideal for Frankenstein’s monster to make his getaway from the laboratory in which he was born. Large bolts in the side have even been linked to the car’s battery for the occasional impromptu jump start.
The Grady twins – The Shining
Smart ForFour and Smart ForTwo
Objectively, the Grady twins from The Shining aren’t that terrifying – after all, they’re just two identical siblings with ghostly white skin asking other children to come play with them. When they’re not stalking the halls of the Overlook Hotel, they might want to travel around in the Smart ForFour and ForTwo city cars. While not fast, either model has enough power to easily outrun a small child on a tricycle.
Xenomorph – Alien
Tesla Model X
From its arresting H.R. Giger-inspired biomechanical physique, to the smooth curved head and fearsome inner mouth, the Xenomorph from the Alien franchise is nothing short of terrifying. Being much better suited to silently stalking its prey than going for a frontal assault, the all-electric Tesla Model X perfectly compliments its hunting methods. The front-mounted charging cable is also hidden inside the Xenomorph’s inner mouth.
Jason Voorhees – Friday the 13th
The iconic white hockey mask Jason Voorhees wears in the Friday the 13th franchise inspires fear in anyone who lays eyes on it. Weirdly the same effect occurs even when applied to the dinky Abarth 595 – hardly a scary looking car. There’s a machete holder at the back of the car but Jason – never one for hanging around – has improvised his own storage method. We’re not inclined to argue with him…
Ghostface – Scream
Alfa Romeo 4C
Among this list, a man in a mask carrying a knife doesn’t seem that bad but, when we’re talking about Ghostface from the Scream film series, there are plenty of reasons to be afraid. His creepy mask puts us in mind of the front end of the Alfa Romeo 4C – the ideal car for pursuing fleeing victims thanks to its light weight, powerful engine and agile handling.
Freddy Krueger – Nightmare on Elm Street
Freddy Krueger is the stuff of nightmares – literally. Should Freddy find himself in need of a pursuit vehicle when chasing down unfortunate souls in their dreams, we’d wholeheartedly recommend the Ariel Nomad – fast, rugged and capable of crossing almost any terrain. Freddy’s custom version features a red and green paint scheme to match his jumper, dreamcatchers for better dream hunting and his signature bladed gloves over the wheels.
Pinhead – Hellraiser
Citroen C4 Cactus
Pinhead is the articulate yet petrifying leader of the Cenobites in the Hellraiser series. In his constant pursuit of even more inventive forms of sadomasochism, the Citroen C4 Cactus makes for a useful companion. Like its owner, the Cactus’ airbump body panels have been sectioned with pins protruding from them while the inside has been fitted out with storage for various instruments of torture or cursed puzzle boxes as needed.
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