Everyone knows what to get a car enthusiast for Christmas – some generic tat with a car brand’s logo on it.
However, car enthusiasts themselves are a bit more interested in actual cars and motoring than Subaru aftershave or a pair of Dacia sunglasses – so if we were writing a list for Santa, what would we ask for ourselves as a reward for being on the nice list all year?
The Mercedes-Benz Zetros above does have a 7.2-litre, 320hp diesel engine, but given the slim chances of a white Christmas in the UK we’d rather have any one of the things below…
It’s a bit of a gimme, but we’d all be straight out there for the fastest car we could get our hands on. Even those of us with more classic tastes would struggle not to give in to the allure of a modern hypercar.
Of course it’s the McLaren for us, because it’s made in Woking, but whichever horse you’re backing in the hybrid megacar race – Porsche’s 918, the Ferrari LaFerrari or even the Lamborghini Asterion – it’s an object of pure desire and only for the wealthiest of the wealthy to buy. Still, Father Christmas doesn’t need to deliver just the one…
Once you’ve got your million dollar car(s), you can’t very well leave it out on the driveway, vulnerable to the elements, defecating pigeons and prying eyes, and sticking it in the same garage as your hatchback seems a little rude.
What you need is a hidden garage, buried beneath your drive. Rising from the depths with a four-post hydraulic lift, a concealed car storage space like this adds an air of Thunderbirds-style majesty to the experience of supercar ownership. With the added bonus that your kids won’t scrape it getting their bikes out.
Little Tikes V12
Speaking of kids, there’s nothing that a car enthusiast loves more than getting their offspring into the world of motoring – explaining the proliferation of the famous Little Tikes Cozy Coupe. But a foot-powered toy won’t quite cut it, so how about a V12 one?
If money’s no object you could buy in Pierre Scerri, the famous French engineer who, in his spare time over 15 years, built a fully functional 1:3 scale model of a Ferrari 312PB – with a working flat-12 engine he tuned to sound just like the real thing (see above for a slightly ancient video of it running). Nail together his miniaturisation expertise and a push car for toddlers and you’ve got a petrolhead’s dream for the next generation. And probably a few public liability insurance issues.
70mph speed limits are such a drag now you’ve got a 220mph hypercar, so what you really need is a big, long airfield for a track day or drag racing runs. Perfect first choice would be the bizarrely long and wide strip that forms the climax of Fast and Furious 6 – calculated by some outlets to be an impressive 18 miles long – but the Morón Airbase in Spain would be a good substitute, with a 2.25 mile run wide enough to be one of the few designated Transoceanic Abort Landing sites for the space shuttle. Now you know.
If you don’t fancy flying your car out to Spain, there are suitable alternatives in the UK, with RAF Fairford and the extremely wide RAF Woodbridge both providing nearly two miles of uninterrupted tarmac. If straight lines aren’t your thing, there are other abandoned airfield sites around the country – Silverstone and a few other race circuits started out as airfields after all.
TAG Heuer Monaco
This is one of the rare non-car trinkets that nearly all motorsport fans would gladly receive and wear with pride. A subculture icon, the original TAG Heuer Monaco watch was made famous and instantly desirable by Steve McQueen, who wore one during the filming of Le Mans in 1971.
Often imitated and indeed re-released in updated forms by TAG Heuer itself over the past 45 years, an original Monaco 1133 is worth far more than its weight in gold – McQueen’s own sold for $650,000 ($800k after fees) at auction in 2012. You can’t take your hypercar everwhere, so this is an absolute must-have gift.
Was that all a bit too silly?
Take a look at our suggested gift ideas for car fans and owners – it contains some rather more affordable (if not sensible) ideas for anyone with a hint of petrol in their blood – or just a car to keep on the road.