Are these the worst car mashups ever?

When you really, really love cars, it’s too easy to waste time mentally building your ideal car. We’re not talking about picking the perfect version of a pre-existing car – we’re talking about choosing your favourite parts from a host of cars and mashing them together to create perfection.

Sometimes, however, you just have to wonder what abominations you can come up with. What if car companies teamed up with their rivals to create a ‘best of both’ sports car? Or what if – heaven forbid – Fiat and Ferrari hopped into bed to create a sporty MPV?

We know these are the sorts of questions no one really wants to see the answer to, but we just couldn’t help ourselves – so we got out the paintbrushes and started dreaming bad things. Sorry…

Toyonda Supra-2000

The Honda S2000 and the Toyota Supra are two of the most legendary Japanese sports cars created – in fact, both had starring roles in classic petrolhead film The Fast and the Furious. Mash them together and you get this unholy partnership – a Toyonda. We hope this car never gets built because, if it was, rival Japanese car fans would likely start rioting. For a start, would it use the Supra’s intimidating 2JZ-GTE engine or Honda’s formidable F20C? If that question went over your head, this definitely isn’t the car for you.

Jaguar Ford-Type

The Jaguar F-Type and the American Ford Raptor aren’t natural bed-fellows, but maybe they’re more similar than you think (bear with us here). Both jaguars and raptors are predators, meaning anyone with a Volkswagen Beetle or a Suzuki Swift should steer well clear. We’ve never seen a car with such a confused identity – the Ford parts want to make a beeline for the nearest off-road track, while the Jaguar parts just want to park outside the Ritz hotel. Either way, this is the car for those determined to not fit in wherever they go.

Mergani H-Class

The Pagani Huayra is one of the most outlandish supercars ever made. Its beautiful body hides a Mercedes-developed turbocharged V12 engine – so what would happen if the Pagani-Mercedes partnership took a nasty turn?

The wholly unnatural conclusion would be to mix the Huayra’s beauty with the roomy boot of the Mercedes E-Class Estate, which is one of the most practical estate cars on the market. Weave them together, and you get something that should be killed with fire.

Unfortunately for supercar fans, while the Mergani H-Class has taken some of the gorgeous style of the Pagani, it’s also lumbered with the Mercedes’ 2.1-litre diesel rather than the Pagani’s 6.0-litre V12. It’ll fit the dog in the boot – it just won’t want to go with you…

Mazda MX-RX-5-7

Mazda’s MX-5 sports car needs no introduction and, for petrolheads, neither does the more obscure RX-7 from the 90s. Critics have predictably fallen in love with the new-for-2015 MX-5, and the RX-7’s wankel rotary engine made such a wonderful sound that we’d love to hear it make a comeback. The obvious next step is to mash the two together, making the Mazda MX-RX-5-7 – a car that’ll hit 62mph from rest faster than you can say its mouthful of a name. Rumour has it that Mazda is thinking of reviving the RX-7, so perhaps this mashup won’t be so far from reality…

Fiarri 488L

Look, we’re sorry. Ferrari and Fiat have been far too close for too long, so it’s time these contrasting Italian bedfellows got a nightmarish vision of their potential lovechild. The Fiarri 488L combines the immense power, drop-dead good looks and fantastic handling of the Ferrari 488 GTB with the spacious cabin and safety features of the noble Fiat 500L. Although it’s guaranteed to be the fastest way to get the little tikes to the school gates, they just won’t be seen getting out when you arrive.

Volvigsegg CCX90

This Swedish dream is what happens when the practical, luxurious Volvo XC90 meets the impractical, impossibly fast Koenigsegg Agera R hypercar. Unfortunately, the XC90’s legendary cabin space has been severely compromised by the fitment of the Koenigsegg’s massive side intakes, meaning it can now comfortably only fit one very skinny rear passenger. Nevertheless, the 1,300hp turbo V8 should mean you get away before anyone sees you in it.

Lexota LFAygo

Owners of the Lexus LFA supercar weren’t exactly begging the manufacturer to fit a bulkier body and a bigger boot, nor were Toyota Aygo owners asking for a 4.8-litre V10 and a 200mph top speed to take them to the shops. That hasn’t stopped Lexota from offering its new LFAygo superhatchback-thing. This is the only car costing more than £300,000 that will both get laughed out of the Waitrose car park and get bullied out of a trackday paddock. Not a terrible brand synergy, though…

Not grossed out enough?

Check out what happened the last time we let our imaginations wander – the six car mashups we pray never exist. How about some crazy concepts that aren’t so distasteful to look at? Here are our Mad Max concept cars. Of course, if you’re looking for an actual car you’d want to buy then visit our car chooser to pick a car, then head over to our car configurator to see how much carwow could help you save.

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