Rumour has it that before Steve Jobs died, he was toying with the idea of designing a car – or an iCar in all likelihood. Judging by Venus – the giant aluminium yacht Jobs and Philippe Starck penned collaboratively before his death – it wouldve been a looker, with vast expanses of glass and exposed brushed brightwork.
As we can only speculate, heres carwows top ten things wed expect to see if Apple decided to take on the worlds finest established carmakers…
Apple would trot out updates to the iCar every year without fail via elaborate revealing ceremonies. Watched around the world, fans would queue for hours to pick up their new cars. Though gorgeous, the updated iCars would be inexplicably missing features and add have new ones you didnt want – but invariably had to have.
Car manufactures use ridiculous naming conventions that usually make little sense, BMW have the X3 sDrive18d M Sport 5dr Step Auto for example. Apple would keep the model names logical, there would be the iCar, closely followed by the iCar 2 then a city car version, imaginatively called the iCar Mini.
Got a complaint? Good luck getting it heard. Expect to be told youre driving it wrong, need a bumper to make it work properly or to just deal with black paint that scratches easily.
Henry Ford was famous for saying customers could have any colour so long as it was black. Apple would be more generous, white would also be available…
Physical keys are so last week. We very much doubt Apple would supply the iCar with a key at all in fact – or an instruction manual for that matter. No, instead theyd have you buy an iPhone and download the iCar App – thereby transforming the phone into a remote key fob.
Like existing cars with keyless entry, the car would unlock when the owner tugged on the door handle, as long as the key – or phone in this case – was in their pocket. However, Apple would never dream of sullying their design with something so cumbersome as a door handle – oh no. Instead, the owner would need to swipe their finger across a touch sensitive panel, after which the door would pop open electronically…
Ever tried to open up an iPhone? Nigh on impossible. Wed expect an iCar to have a bonnet that could only be opened by Apples technicians – resulting in frequent trips to the dealer (or Apple Store) for such trivialities as refilling your washer fluid.
Fuel fillers are a standard size across pretty much all cars – meaning you can fill a Ferrari from the same pump thats just been used to fill a Fiat. Not so with the iCar – Apple would insist all filling stations adopt special pumps sizes specifically for iCars. Because they can.
Whereas most cars inbuilt navigation systems rely on specific satellites and the carmakers own software, the iCars sat-nav would use Apples own mapping software – Apple Maps. As such, buyers could expect to find themselves nowhere near where they wanted to be the majority of the time.
Apples lawyers would be kept busy with the iCar. Just like theyve been attempting to sue so many other technology firms, wed expect a raft of court cases against car manufacturers for daring to steal innovative ideas like touchscreens – or white paint…
What else would you like to see, or what do you reckon the Apple guys would come up with?