These are the ultimate vehicles and cars for a zombie ridden, post-apocalyptic world. Without these machines, survival would be improbable.
As we all know/dream, taking out zombies on foot can be a nightmare. The Minewolf, as the name suggests, is designed primarily as a mine clearance vehicle, but set this 27 tonne, steel-plated goliath in the direction of our undead foes and its flail will tear them asunder with minimal effort. Additional zombie vanquishing points come from the user’s ability to remotely control this beast from up to a kilometre away. Sadly it’s unlikely to be eligible for Robot Wars.
Buy one now at - Mine Wolf
If all the post-apocalyptic zombie books we’ve read have taught us anything, it’s that zombies, whilst seemingly having minimal brain activity whatsoever, do not appreciate a cold-snap. As a result, the Mercedes-Benz Zetros is the perfect vehicle for the zombie apocalypse, allowing you to inhabit the most icy of climes in a level of comfort usually associated with a mid-range studio apartment.
With 6x6 drive, insulated cabin and a quad bike stored in the back, it’s the perfect mobile home for sitting back in the tundra and waiting for the inevitable insanity from being the last remaining human alive. We can’t be sure, but we’d imagine fuel economy might go out the window with this one.
If you’ve been living with a group of people during the apocalypse, and your base gets overrun, chances are you’ll want to get everyone out fast. This is where the MAN 8x8 would be the vehicle to have. With room for 38 people, roof-top escape hatch and a 320hp V8 engine it would easily push through a crowd of hungry living dead.
Incidentally, there’s one for sale here - MAN Army
The Conquest Knight XV is the perfect vehicle for nipping into town to fetch supplies. It’s luxurious, fast and bullet-proof. With TV screens, suede interior and wool carpeting you’ll likely soon forget all about the bloody demise you will at some point likely experience.
Buy one here - Conquest Vehicles
The Boxer, although technically a military vehicle, could be purchased if you had the cash. With a 1000km fuel range, you won’t have to make frequent stops to fill it up. What’s more, the vehicle only has two tiny windows (bullet-proof, of course), so no matter how many zombies are slobbering all over your ride, they ain’t getting in.
Get yours now - Artec Boxer
The Overaasen TV 2000 is the biggest snow blower in the world, capable of clearing 10,000 tonnes of snow an hour, which we reckon would translate to clearing 125,000 zombies an hour (workings not attached).
Order yours now - Overaasen
Not the prettiest looking vehicle, but we doubt the zombie hordes are particularly aesthetically discerning. This Saxon armoured personnel carrier can hold 10 people, is designed to cross any terrain and has smoke dischargers to disguise your getaway.
Conveniently, there’s a 2nd hand one for sale here - khakicorpsimports
Rumour has it, zombies can’t swim (although this is a contentious issue amongst top scientists). If/when the time comes, this theory proves the case, then the Viking 2992 could be invaluable. It’s an amphibious vehicle; neither land nor water proves an obstacle. If you end up being chased by an unruly mob of former humans, hellbent on tasting your delicious vital organs, simply drive into the nearest river and float away to safety.
Get one here - Acton Impulse
This circular saw is designed for cutting through rocks, though we can envision other uses for it when the dead start rising. Place it on the roof of your hide-out and operate from a safe distance. Perfect for a bit of long distance crowd control.
Hire one here - eahire
Inexplicably, the marketing shot for the Isbi Riot control vehicle has a Smart car on its roof. We’d rather have something slightly sportier stored up top, particularly as inner city driving would be rendered virtually impossible by the existence of millions of mindless flesh eating grunts. Options for the vehicle itself include water cannons, ploughs and mortar cannons. Cleverly, the engine can be accessed without leaving the vehicle, perfect for if you break down in a tight spot.
Order one now for $350,000 - Isbi US
Chances are, the roads are blocked with abandoned cars, making any advance by a normal vehicle impossible. In steps the Caterpiller D11N. Shifting buses/lorries/corpses out the way will be no issue with this machine. Costing a cool $1.1 million when new, they might be out of your price range, but can you put a price on surviving the almost-certain-to-happen zombie apocalypse?
There’s a couple of used ones for sale here - Agri Affairs
Know of any other good zombie apocalypse survival vehicles? Then let us know in the comments below. And remember...