The latest Mad Max film, Fury Road, continues the theme of fugitives trying to escape pursuers in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
To us, that sounds like a normal Friday afternoon on the M25. But what if the cars in the film weren’t terrifyingly modified Australian hot rods, but some of the best cars you’ll find on UK roads in 2015? How about everyday cars, modified to fend off the desperate stragglers of a dying human race?
To get the idea off the ground, we’ve ‘Mad Maxed’ the unbelievably popular Nissan Qashqai, the gorgeous Jaguar F-Type and the effortlessly practical Skoda Octavia. Could these be the most reasonable ways to survive the post-election apocalypse?
The sales blurb for the normal Nissan Qashqai says it’s the ‘ultimate city crossover’. Our version is more like the ‘ultimate run everything over-er’. Admittedly the Porsche-inspired fabric (ok, rope) door handles probably don’t save any weight once you’ve taken into account the half-tonne of angle iron welded to the front.
But who wouldn’t want to be in this when there’s someone doing 60mph in lane three of the motorway?
Inspired by the Interceptor from the original Mad Max films, the humble-but-excellent Skoda Octavia didn’t really need much modification to survive in the world of Mad Max. It’s already built like a Czech tank, but a chunky exoskeleton will help it survive any tumbles and the Octavia vRS’s 2.0-litre turbo engine has a lot of extra cooling and tuning to generate about 420hp.
Oh, and our post-apocalyptic spanner-monkeys have added the 4×4 system from the new Audi RS3. Please make this, Skoda, it’d be hilarious.
The Jaguar F-Type coupe is undoubtedly one of the most gorgeous cars on sale, but a pretty face isn’t enough to save any car from modification when the apocalypse rolls through leafy Surrey.
We’ve messed up a bit with this one, because you can no longer fit a set of golf clubs in the boot – but hopefully the .50 cal machine gun will help you clear the fairways of rival cars. We know that Jaguar is rightfully proud of how loud the V8 F-Type is already – but they haven’t heard the unsilenced side-exit exhausts. They certainly wouldn’t pass EU regulations, but who gives a fig when your Jag looks hard as nails?
Nissan, Skoda and Jaguar. You guys make great cars (you can even buy them from top dealers using carwow), but they just look so much better when the world’s gone to the dogs.