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Okay, so these aren’t all saloons. In fact, only the Alfa is. But the BMW and Audi coupes are still based on saloons, so we’ll stick with that definition.
Anyway, the Alfa is the powerhouse of the trio. Its twin-turbo, 2.9-litre V6 engine produces a whopping 510hp and 600Nm. And it only weighs 1520kg, which isn’t much for this kind of car. But it could be hampered by only having rear-wheel drive and by its eight-speed automatic gearbox that doesn’t have launch control.
The M4 we have here is only the standard version, not a Competition. Even so, the 431hp and 550Nm produced by its twin-turbo, 3.0-litre straight-six engine isn’t to be sneezed at. It’s heavier than the Giulia, though, at 1650kg. Drive is to the rear wheels via a six-speed, dual-clutch gearbox, and it has launch control – frustratingly temperamental launch control, but launch control nonetheless.
The RS5 splits the difference. Its twin-turbo, 2.9-litre V6 motor musters 450hp and 600Nm, which is sent to all four wheels via an eight-speed automatic gearbox. It’s the heffalump of the group, though, weighing in at 1700kg. But, Yianni’s in the driving seat, which is usually an advantage.
On paper, it looks like the Quadrifoglio (Italian for ‘cloverleaf’, by the way) should walk it. But the BMW’s launch control is among the best in the business – when it works – and the quattro-equipped Audi has immense traction off the line. It’s a tough call, this one.